


Hasn't Felt Like This Before

by wordslinging



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, Everyone Is Happy And No One Is Dead, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Romance, Unrealistically Perfect First-Time Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 03:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslinging/pseuds/wordslinging
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On move-in day, Agron meets his brother's new roommate, Nasir.</p><p>He's pretty much doomed from the start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hasn't Felt Like This Before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RainahFiclets](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainahFiclets/gifts).



> Happy New Year! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Note: Unbeta'd, so pardon any errors I might have missed in looking it over. Also, while this fic doesn't really deal in any detail with homophobia, coming out to one's parents and not being sure how it's going to go is a plot point.

Agron probably would have ended up helping Duro move in even if Duro wasn't going to the same college where Agron's about to start his junior year. If he didn't he'd get grief about it for the rest of the year, and it's convenient enough, since they only live a few hours away and all their stuff fits into Agron's beat-up old van. Plus, y'know, Agron loves his brother and stuff. Loves him enough to lug a giant box he's pretty sure is actually full of bowling balls up three flights of stairs when the shitty elevator in the shitty freshman dorm breaks down.

As he finally makes the third floor, the typical sounds of a college dorm on move-in day greet him--chatter and laughter, music spilling out from open doors, occasional banging and swearing. As Agron heads down the hall toward Duro's room, something catches his ear, standing out from the rest of the music he hears. It's opera, something he recognizes as being from _The Magic Flute_ \--Agron's hardly an opera buff, but his mom has a CD of that one she plays a lot at home. As he gets to the room, he cranes his neck to see around the box he's holding, and the first thing he sees in a short guy with dark hair pulled into a bun on top of his head, nodding along to the music as he takes clothes out of a suitcase.

Agron shifts the box to one arm so he can rap on the doorframe, which turns out to be a mistake; the box wobbles treacherously, and he swears loudly and grabs at it with his free hand.

The short guy who's presumably Duro's roommate had started to turn when Agron knocked, and he rushes over and grabs the box from the other side.

"Thanks," Agron says, smiling at him. He's...wow, he's _really_ pretty.

"No problem," Presumably Duro's Roommate says. "So, uh, where are we going with this? Desk, floor?"

"Floor's good," Agron says, and they lower the box together. Presumably Duro's Roommate gives him an assessing look as they straighten up.

"So, unless you have a really misleading Facebook picture, I don't think you're Duro Lang."

"I'm his brother, Agron," Agron says, holding out a hand. "Duro should be up in a second."

"Nasir Zaman." They shake, and just then Duro shows up with another box.

"Hey!" he says, beaming at Nasir as he puts his box down. "Good to meet you in person, man."

"Likewise," Nasir says, holding out a hand. Duro takes it and pulls him into a one-armed hug as well. Nasir seems a little surprised, but goes with it.

Nasir helps them bring the rest of Duro's stuff up, and then they all just sprawl out and rest, Nasir and Duro on the two beds, Agron on the floor. Once he catches his breath, Duro pushes up on his elbows and looks over at Nasir. 

"So, you're a music major, right? What do you play?"

"Violin," Nasir says. "Well, and viola and cello, and I'm decent on guitar and piano. But I'm pretty sure I'm going to focus on violin here."

"Wow," Duro says, echoing Agron's thoughts. "That's...a bunch of things."

Nasir smiles. "I started playing pretty young. Learning new instruments helps keep it interesting."

"Plus I bet it's great for impressing girls," Agron says. "Or guys, if that's your thing."

Nasir's smile slants crookedly as he looks over at Agron. "Maybe if I weren't really bad at meeting guys in the first place, it would."

Agron smiles. "Well, you've met me." Flirting with his brother's brand-new roommate may not be the best idea he's ever had, but it just sort of comes out.

"I guess I have." Nasir looks amused, though Agron's not sure if that's a good sign for him or not.

"Too bad he's gonna be living with someone who knows all your dark secrets and gross habits," Duro comments to Agron.

"He's a compulsive liar, don't listen to a word he says," Agron stage-whispers to Nasir, who laughs. 

They stir themselves after a while, and Duro and Nasir start splitting up closet and dresser space while Agron starts putting together the flat-pack bookcase Duro brought. 

"Well, I should go," Agron says once the room is a little less of a mess of boxes. "I need to get moved into my own room. But hey, if you guys need something to do tonight, I'm getting together with some friends." 

The party's at Crixus and Naevia's new apartment--they're moving off-campus this year, and technically living together for the first time, although they spent so much time together sophomore year they might as well have been. When Agron, Duro, and Nasir arrive, Agron instantly seeks out their hosts, figuring Spartacus and Mira won't be far off. He hasn't seen Mira since she went home for the summer, and as soon as he finds her he pulls her into a bear hug. 

"Hey, you," Mira says, hugging back. "Hey, Duro. Hey, guy I'm pretty sure I don't know."

Agron and Duro introduce Nasir to everyone, and he's pretty quiet at first, nursing a drink and sticking close to them. Then Mira and Spartacus draw him into a conversation and he warms up quickly, smiling brightly as they talk.

"Looks like Nasir's been adopted," Naevia comments, coming up next to Agron.

"He seems like a cool guy," Agron says. "Which is good for me. I mean, because hating Duro's roommate would probably be awkward."

Naevia looks over at him with a faint smile. "He's not too hard on the eyes, either."

Agron's spared from having to come up with an answer by the noise level across the room suddenly rising. He looks over.

"So, uh, that looks like a nice coffee table Gannicus just climbed onto."

Naevia looks over. "Oh, for--Crixus, we talked about this!"

"On it!" Crixus call back, already on his way to interrupt what seems to be a very earnest drunken speech about friendship.

Agron shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm living with him for a whole year."

"Yeah, how'd that happen, anyway?" Naevia asks. 

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Agron offers weakly. 

"So, you were drunk," Naevia interprets.

"Yup."

"And by the time you realized that the guy you enjoy partying with isn't necessarily the guy you want to live with, everyone else was paired up."

"Pretty much."

Naevia pats his shoulder sympathetically. "Good luck with that."

***

For the first few weeks, at least, Gannicus does most of his partying elsewhere, so rooming with him isn't too bad. The worst that happens is the night Agron comes back from the library to find Gannicus sprawled out on his bed because, as he explains when Agron rouses him, he wasn't sure he could climb up to his loft without dying. Agron grudgingly concedes that he doesn't want Gannicus to die, gets him some water, and goes to sleep on the couch, which has a few suspicious stains on it but is probably safer than Gannicus's bed.

A few weeks into the semester, Gannicus and Saxa start dating, for given values of "dating" that seem to involve few actual dates and a lot of hanging out and hooking up in Gannicus and Agron's room.

Agron likes Saxa. He likes her a lot. She went to the same high school as him and Duro, though they only knew each other in passing until college, and she can hold her own equally well in a drinking game, a round of Halo, or a discussion about queer representation in the media. He just...feels like he's seen her naked more than he really needs to see anyone naked unless he's the one hooking up with them. 

"Oh, come on, we talked about this," he says as she climbs down from Gannicus's loft. They've been napping up there, and Agron's been taking advantage of the quiet to work at his desk instead of going to the library. "Shirts? Shirts are good?"

"My shirt's on the floor, genius," Saxa points out, looking supremely unconcerned about her toplessness as she bends to pick it up. "Not my fault if the unconstricted female form makes you uncomfortable."

"Hey, I am plenty comfortable," Agron argues, in spite of the fact that he's focusing intently on his laptop screen. "Or at least, I'm not any _more_ uncomfortable with your rack than I am with Gannicus's junk."

"Please, like I've never caught you checking me out," Gannicus calls down from the loft. "You're just upset because I don't bat for your team."

"Devastated," Agron replies solemnly.

When Agron shows up to find a sock on the door (or, on the not-infrequent occasions when Gannicus forgets, walks in and sees things he can't unsee while being yelled at to get out), he goes to the library, or texts around to see if anyone wants to hang out, or goes to Duro and Nasir's room. Hanging out in each other's rooms constantly is such an ingrained habit that it only belatedly occurs to him that it's not just Duro's room now, and maybe he should make sure he's not bothering Nasir.

"Seriously, feel free to tell me to get lost," Agron says when he finally thinks to say something. He's sitting on Duro's bed while Duro works on a paper, having long ago learned to ignore Agron when he needs to. Nasir's sitting cross-legged on his own bed, looking over some sheet music. 

Nasir smiles. "I don't mind. And even if I did, Duro's been great about letting me practice in here instead of going to the music building all the time."

"Yeah, it's a real hardship to have my crazy talented roommate serenade me," Duro teases.

Nasir ducks his head, looking pleased. "Yeah, well, see if you still feel that way in two months."

"Can you play something right now?" Agron asks. "Do people ask you that all the time? Does it get really annoying?"

Nasir smiles at him. "They do, and it can, but if you don't mind hearing a mediocre rendition of the Mozart concerto I'm supposed to be learning, I don't mind playing it."

He gets out his violin and bow, spends a few seconds tuning, then starts playing something lively and fairly complicated. He plays with his eyes closed and a little furrow between his eyebrows, and Agron can't take his eyes off him. Agron and Duro both applaud when Nasir finishes. 

"If that was mediocre, you're going to need to play it for us again when you're good," Agron says.

Nasir downplays his talent way more than Agron thinks he should, but it never comes off as false modesty or fishing for compliments. More like perfectionism, like no matter how well Nasir does he stays focused on how he could have done better. Agron's been friends with Spartacus long enough to recognize that kind of relentless drive when he sees it.

The more time Agron and Nasir spend together, the more Agron likes him. He's quiet and serious a lot of the time, but he has a dry sense of humor and he's kind of a smartass. He grew up in Oregon and has an older brother, he's a vegetarian, and he gets adorably tipsy over not that much booze.

They hang out a lot; Duro's been friends with Agron's friends by proxy for years, and getting to be better friends now that he sees them more often. Nasir seems to have been spiritually adopted not just by Spartacus and Mira, but by Naevia, Lugo and about half of their other friends as well. He's also made some friends with the other music students; the two Agron sees him with the most are a pretty blonde soprano named Chadara and a trombone player named Castus, who's gorgeous and outgoing and flirtatious in a way that makes Agron's stomach tighten uncomfortably whenever he sees him with Nasir. Telling himself he doesn't have any right to get territorial when he hasn't so much as asked Nasir out for coffee doesn't seem to help much.

Duro calls him on it after Agron makes a face at being told that Nasir's not meeting them for lunch because it's easier for him to just grab something closer to the music building. With Castus.

"Y'know, sometimes, when you like a boy enough that the idea of him having lunch with someone else makes you make that face, it's a good idea to ask him out. Like, on a real date, without your brother along, and before the other guy beats you to it."

Agron looks down, shrugging. "That's assuming said boy is interested in going out with you, because otherwise you just make things weird with your brother's roommate."

"Hmm, there is that," Duro says. "If only you knew someone who spends time with him pretty much every day and can possibly shed some light on whether or not he likes you."

Agron looks over at him, and Duro just looks unassuming and takes a bite of his sandwich, until Agron kicks his foot. "Well?"

"Well," Duro says slowly. "He does tidy up his side of the room and check his hair in the mirror every time I say you're coming over, and he didn't do that when Castus came over to study last week."

Agron figures the smile on his face at that must look pretty stupid, from the way Duro laughs at him, but he can't bring himself to care.

***

Even after that, Agron takes a while to make a move. It's partly nerves--even with Duro's reassurance, he's still worried about making things weird with Nasir--but also partly that the semester is starting to ramp up, and between satisfying the requirements for his political science major, playing rugby, and working part-time, sometimes Agron wonders why he's even considering dating at all. Except every time he sees Nasir, he remembers.

One day in early October, Agron runs into Nasir walking on campus and they walk together for a while. They're chatting back and forth about things, and they get onto the subject of a theater near campus that shows a lot of old horror movies during October. 

"Yeah, Duro and I always try to make it out to see some of those if we can," Agron says. "I think they're showing The Haunting this weekend."

"The original?" Nasir asks, and Agron nods. "Oh, man, I love that one."

Agron doesn't really believe in signs, in the mystic fate bullshit sense of the word, but he thinks if he did, this would be one.

"Me, too," he says, and then, "Maybe we could go see it together?"

Nasir glances over at him. "Sounds good. Want to see if Duro or anyone else wants to go?"

Agron runs a hand through his hair and takes a breath. "Actually, maybe we could just keep it the two of us. I mean, if that's good with you."

Nasir stops walking for a second and looks over at him, a smile starting to grow on his face. "I--yeah. That would be great."

Agron beams at him. "Great. I'll find out when it's showing and we'll make plans?"

"Sounds good to me," Nasir says, and then pauses by a fork in the path, gesturing down the left fork. "I'm going this way."

"I'm this way," Agron says, pointing right. "I'll see you later."

"See you," Nasir echoes, still smiling as he turns and heads off.

Agron picks Nasir up on Saturday, and they put up with the expected amount of teasing from Duro before they head out.

"Now, make sure you call and let me know if you're going to be out late," he says solemnly. "And don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Agron rolls his eyes. "You do realize that advice isn't as effective coming from one of the most reckless people I've ever known?" 

They take Agron's car to the theater. Agron insists on paying for both tickets, and Nasir insists on paying for popcorn and drinks. The movie's just as good as Agron remembers, and the few times he steals glances over at Nasir, he looks completely enthralled. During the scene with the knocking on the bedroom door, Agron impulsively reaches out and puts his hand over Nasir's where it's lying on the armrest. Nasir turns his hand over under Agron's, and they stay like that for the rest of the movie. They're still holding hands when the lights go up, and Nasir eases his hand away from Agron's with a slightly embarrassed smile.

"This was fun," Nasir says on the drive back. "We should do it again sometime."

"Yeah," Agron agrees. "What's your week look like?"

Nasir makes a face. "Two quizzes, a paper due Thursday, and rehearsal three times a week. What about next weekend?"

"I've got work, a rugby game, and a test next Monday," Agron says.

"Guess we'll just have to wait and see when our schedules line up," Nasir says with a wry smile.

***

They don't manage to plan anything for the next two weeks. They see each other--hanging out in the dorms, grabbing lunch on campus with their friends--but nothing like a date.

Finally, there's a night when neither of them is too busy, and Nasir asks if Agron wants to watch a movie in his and Duro's room. Agron's not sure if he means actually watch a movie or, well, other things, but he shoves a couple of DVDs and some popcorn in his bag and tries not to assume anything.

Duro's not in the room when he gets there.

"He had a thing," Nasir says, and declines to elaborate. "So it's just us. If that's okay?"

Agron grins. "Fine."

Nasir pulls out the drawer he and Duro keep movies in, and Agron dumps his own on the floor next to it. Nasir yawns more than once while they're trying to pick one out.

"Sorry," he says, stifling another yawn behind his hand. "I didn't get much sleep last night. And somehow didn't catch up on all my coursework in spite of reading until my eyes wouldn't focus anymore."

"I know the feeling," Agron says. "We can do this another night, if you'd rather." 

"No, I'm fine," Nasir insists. "So, what do you want to watch?"

Agron looks down at their options and shrugs. "Lord of the Rings is always good."

"Theatrical or extended?" Nasir asks, and Agron looks at him in mock offense.

"I hope that wasn't a serious question."

Nasir laughs and pulls the extended Fellowship out of Agron's DVD pile. "Okay, but I might only be up for one disc tonight."

Agron makes popcorn while Nasir's setting up the DVD. Nasir settles on his bed and Agron sits on the floor at first, but Nasir smiles at him and pats the mattress. "You can come up here, if you want." 

Agron grins and climbs up next to him, settling against the pillows Nasir has propped up against the wall. They sit close together, shoulder and thighs touching, the popcorn bowl balanced between them.

As many times as Agron's watched this, he can still get absorbed in it if he has no other distractions. As it turns out, Nasir is pretty distracting--the smell of his hair, the warmth of him pressed against Agron's side, the way he hums along with the soundtrack under his breath. When the solo fiddle part in "Concerning Hobbits" comes on, Nasir moves the fingers of one hand as if they were on the frets of an instrument, the gesture seeming mostly unconscious.

Somewhere during Bilbo's party, there's some shifting that results in Agron lifting his arm and Nasir nestling against his shoulder. During Gandalf's explanation of the Ring, Agron gives into temptation and turns his face against Nasir's hair. It's clean and soft and smells amazing, and it smells like he's wearing some sort of cologne as well, the scent enticing but not overpowering. Agron doesn't know if Nasir put it on for him or if he just likes to smell good, and finds both possibilities ridiculously sexy.

Before the hobbits are out of the Shire, Agron feels Nasir lift his head and hears him murmur Agron's name. He turns his head with a questioning noise, and Nasir leans in and presses his lips to Agron's.

Agron lets his eyes fall closed and kisses back, gently at first. He deepens it after a moment, and Nasir leans toward him, resting one hand on Agron's shoulder. Agron shifts closer, then grabs the popcorn bowl as it threatens to spill.

"Let's maybe move this," he says, easing back from the kiss, and Nasir smiles at him, his cheeks slightly flushed. 

"Good idea."

Agron leans over to put the popcorn on the floor, then turns back to Nasir. Sliding his hands into Nasir's hair is even better than he imagined, soft, thick strands curling around his fingers like they're meant to be there. Kissing him is better than Agron imagined, too--he's thought about it a lot over the past few months, but somehow failed to fully conceive of how soft-yet-firm Nasir's lips would be or the things he'd do with his tongue. He's still dimly aware of the movie playing in the background (they're in Bree), but all his focus is on Nasir.

They shift to lie down after a while, Nasir half on top of Agron. Agron curls his hands around Nasir's waist, fingers brushing bare skin where Nasir's shirt rides up in the back. He's watching Nasir's face for cues, and Nasir's smiling, running his hands over Agron's arms and up to his shoulders.

"You--" he breathes. "Ever since we met I've wanted to put my hands all over you. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."

Agron grins, bringing one hand up to cup the side of Nasir's face and stroke his thumb along the edge of his jaw. "That makes two of us, then."

It turns slow and lazy after a while; Nasir nestles down against Agron's shoulder and presses soft kisses to the space just under his ear, while Agron takes Nasir's hand and lifts it to his mouth, kissing his wrist and the edge of his palm. They stay like that until Agron shifts and angles his head toward Nasir, only to find Nasir with his eyes closed and his face smushed into Agron's shoulder, breathing deeply.

Agron considers being offended for about half a second, but he remembers how tired Nasir seemed earlier. Plus, it's pretty adorable, and on the list of people he's okay with being used as a pillow by, Nasir ranks pretty high.

He settles his arm around Nasir's shoulders and turns his attention back to the movie, idly playing with Nasir's hair. Nasir stays out until Gimli tries to smash the Ring at the Council of Elrond, then starts awake, hair falling in his face as he sits up.

"Hey," Agron says, smiling at him.

Nasir squints at him blearily, one eye covered by his hair. "Uh. Did I fall asleep while we were…"

Agron bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. "Little bit, yeah."

"Oh, god." Nasir flops back on the bed, grabbing a pillow and pressing it to his face. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Agron tells him. "I mean, it wasn't exactly a hardship having you nap on me."

"Nope," Nasir says, muffled. "Nothing for it, you're going to have to leave me here to smother myself. Only honorable way out."

"No smothering," Agron says firmly, and tugs the pillow away from him. "Seriously, don't worry about it, I've been that tired before. And it was nice. Trust me, I'm not just saying that."

Nasir peers at him suspiciously. "Really?"

"You want to sleep on me some more to prove it?" Agron offers, and Nasir smiles.

"I'd rather do this," he says, and leans over for a kiss. 

Agron pulls him close, deepening the kiss and running his hand down the length of Nasir's spine, then starts slightly as someone pounds on the door. 

"Am I going to see anything soul-scarring if I come in there?" Duro calls.

Agron groans, dropping his head back on the bed. "Go away!"

"Dude, no, I have an eight AM class. I gave you two a nice long window and if you didn't use it, it's not my fault."

"Ugh, you suck," Agron yells. 

"We're decent," Nasir calls, and kisses Agron's cheek apologetically. "I'm the one who gets to deal with his yelling if he oversleeps tomorrow," he reminds him.

Duro comes in and makes victory arms at the sight of them lying down together. "Took you long enough. I'm totally taking credit for this, by the way."

"I'm trading you in for a new brother, by the way," Agron returns.

***

The next few weeks, Agron and Nasir are together about as often as they can manage. When they've both got a lot on their plates, they try to get work done together, although it turns out dangerously easy to get distracted.

"Okay, seriously," Nasir murmurs between kisses. They're lying on Agron's bed, and Agron has one hand in Nasir's hair and the other up the back of his shirt. "I have a test to study for. And you have a paper to write. And unfortunately neither of them is on the finer points of making out."

"You're right," Agron agrees solemnly, as if he isn't tracing patterns on the warm skin of Nasir's back and trailing kisses along the edge of his jaw. "We should really stop."

Nasir tilts his head back to give Agron better access, and curls his hand more firmly around Agron's hip, hooking two fingers in his belt loops. "If it wasn't for you I'd have gotten a lot of studying in already. Boyfriends are terrible, stupid distractions and I don't know why anyone has them."

"Terrible," Agron agrees, and then pulls back. "Wait, I'm your boyfriend?"

Nasir quirks an eyebrow at him. "I should hope you're not anyone else's boyfriend."

Agron pushes himself up on one elbow, reaching out to tuck Nasir's hair back behind his ear. "No, I mean--we're using official relationship terminology?"

"Well, yeah," Nasir says, and then his brow furrows slightly. "Unless you don't want to."

In reply, Agron leans forward and kisses him, then grins. "You're my boyfriend," he says smugly.

"I'm your boyfriend." Nasir smiles and kisses him back, then pushes himself into a sitting position. "And I still have a test tomorrow."

Agron sighs deeply, but obediently leans over the side of the bed and retrieves Nasir's music theory textbook and his notes on post-revolutionary France from the floor.

In early November, Gannicus and Saxa go out of town for the weekend. Ostensibly it's to go to a concert in New York, but Agron suspects the trip is going to be as much about partying and possibly hooking up with any interested girls they meet as about concertgoing, and turns down the offer to accompany them.

"So I'm going to have the room to myself all weekend," he tells Nasir while they're having lunch that Friday. "You could stay over, if you want."

Nasir looks at him with a small, warm smile and an eager light in his eyes. "Duro would probably appreciate some time off from being in the same room as us."

"Exactly," Agron agrees. "It's really the only charitable thing to do."

Nasir comes over after rehearsal that afternoon, and they order pizza and watch TV, curled up on Agron's bed. After a while, they're not so much watching TV as making out while the TV plays in the background.

"Is this okay?" Agron asks as he slides his hand up the front of Nasir's shirt. Nasir gasps and arches up against him, then pulls back and yanks his shirt up over his head.

"This is better," he says, and Agron grins and runs his hand up the planes of Nasir's chest, fingers brushing over his nipples.

"Fuck, you're gorgeous," Agron breathes, and bends to kiss a path along Nasir's collarbone. Nasir runs one hand through Agron's hair and the other down his back. He tugs at the hem of Agron's t-shirt, and Agron kneels up to pull it off. His heart's hammering in his chest as they come together again, skin on skin. 

Agron rolls onto his back and tugs at Nasir's hips, and Nasir straddles him, running his hands all over Agron's chest and arms and bending down. They kiss fiercely, all teeth and tongues and panting into each other's mouths, and Agron wraps both arms around Nasir's waist and presses up against him. He's half-hard already, and even through two layers of clothing he thinks Nasir is, too.

Nasir breaks the kiss, breathing heavily, and looks down at Agron. "Can I tell you something without you getting nervous?"

"Uh," Agron says. "What would you have to tell me that would make me nervous?"

Nasir bites his lip, stroking Agron's skin gently. "This is...kind of the furthest I've ever gone with a guy." 

"...Okay," Agron says. 

"Don't get nervous," Nasir says quickly. 

"I'm not!" Agron assures him, and tries hard to shut up the little part of him that is. "Just...how far do you want to take this?"

"That's why I brought it up," Nasir says, tucking his hair behind his ears. "I know I don't want to stop yet, but I'm not completely sure how much further I want to go."

Agron raises a hand to his cheek. "So we'll take it slow, and you tell me if you want to stop."

Nasir gives him a soft, gentle smile, curling his hand around Agron's wrist. "Okay."

Agron tugs him back down, and Nasir kisses him, hot and slow and open-mouthed. Agron slides his hand down to the front of Nasir's jeans and palms his cock through the fabric, and Nasir lets out a sharp little moan and pushes against his hand. Agron reaches up and undoes Nasir's fly, then slips his fingers inside until they just brush the hem of Nasir's briefs. 

Nasir bumps his nose against Agron's cheek, breathing heavily. "Okay, we can go a _little_ faster than that."

He moves off of Agron and starts shimmying out of his jeans, leaving his briefs on for now. Agron does the same and then presses Nasir back on the bed, sliding one thigh in between Nasir's. Nasir rocks up against him and pulls him down so they can kiss some more, and while part of Agron is already desperate to get off, part of him just wants to rub against Nasir like this and ride this feeling out as long as he can.

He reins himself in enough to pull back, hooking a thumb in the waistband of Nasir's briefs and murmuring, "Okay?" Nasir's eyes are glazed over and there's a flush high up on his cheeks, and he only hesitates a moment before nodding. 

Agron pulls Nasir's briefs down over his hips and Nasir kicks them down his legs and off, and Agron skims off his boxers quickly. Before he can settle on top of Nasir again, Nasir puts a hand on his chest.

"Can I--I just want to look at you for a minute," he pants, and Agron nods, settling back on his knees. Nasir's eyes wander over him, and his hands trace down Agron's chest, over his stomach and along the cut of his hips. His eyes are dark and intense, and Agron can feel himself getting even harder under Nasir's gaze. 

"Fuck," Nasir says softly. "Agron--" 

He tugs at Agron's hips, and that's all the invitation Agron needs. He settles back on top of Nasir and lets out a moan that Nasir echoes when their cocks rub against each other. Nasir wraps his arms around Agron's neck, and Agron slides a hand down to Nasir's thigh and encourages him to hook his leg around Agron as well. His other hand tangles in Nasir's hair, pushing it back to bare his neck to Agron's mouth.

Nasir presses his face into Agron's neck and chants his name softly, and it's not long until his entire body goes stiff and then shudders like he's going to fly apart. Agron wraps an arm around Nasir's back and strokes his hair, holding him close as Nasir moans into his neck and comes against him. It's the most perfect thing Agron's ever felt, Nasir holding him tight and breathing shakily against his skin and the sudden slick warmth between them, and Agron squeezes his eyes shut and comes hard, gasping. 

They fall back on the bed, panting for breath and still clutching each other, and when Agron gathers himself enough to look up, Nasir's eyes are closed and there's a blissful smile on his face and he's heart-stoppingly beautiful.

Nasir rolls onto his side and looks over at Agron, still breathing heavily. "That was...is it weird to say thank you? Because that was amazing."

Agron huffs out a laugh. "You're thanking me?" He pushes Nasir's hair back from his face, smiling at him. " _You're_ amazing." 

Nasir smiles and nestles back down on the bed. "Go get us a towel or something, we can fight about who's more amazing after we clean up."

Agron already loves it when Nasir's bossy streak comes out; post-coital, it's kind of ridiculously hot. He does as he's told, and Nasir pulls the sheets up and snuggles against him. 

"I'm tired, but I don't want to go to sleep yet," he mumbles into Agron's shoulder. "Don't let me fall asleep, okay?"

"You know Gannicus and Saxa aren't back until Sunday, right?" Agron says. "We've got all tomorrow night, too." 

"Oh, I know," Nasir says, tracing patterns on Agron's skin with one hand. "I still want to make the most of all the time we've got."

Agron kisses the top of Nasir's head, smiling into his hair. "Me, too."

***

The Monday before Thanksgiving, Duro and Agron find out that Nasir's not planning on going home.

"Between the cost of the flight and the fact that I'd only be there a few days, it just doesn't make sense to," he says with a shrug when he tells them about it. "It's cool, Thanksgiving's not really a big deal for my family, and winter break's not far off."

Agron and Duro exchange glances, and when Agron nods Duro looks over at Nasir. "Okay, you're coming home with us."

Nasir quirks an eyebrow. "I am?"

"I mean, unless you _want_ to spend a long weekend hanging out here by yourself instead of eating delicious food with two of your favorite people," Duro says.

Nasir smiles. "As arguments go, I've heard worse ones. But is it okay for me to just come on short notice? Will your parents mind?"

Agron snorts. "Once you meet our parents, you're going to understand what a funny question that is."

The three of them pile in Agron's car with their suitcases Wednesday afternoon--Agron and Duro would have skipped their classes and gone earlier, but Nasir flatly refused to skip rehearsal--and arrive by dinner time to a house already full of aunts and uncles and cousins.

Everyone greets Nasir warmly, and while a Agron doesn't exactly stand up and announce that they're together, he does stand really close and take Nasir's hand now and then. Nasir seems a little ambivalent at first, almost nervous, in a way Agron's never seen him act when it came to PDA before. By the time they're all sitting around the living room after dinner, he's warmed up, and when he and Agron get smushed onto one end of the sofa together and Agron lifts his arm, Nasir tucks himself against his side easily.

They end up having to share the fold-out sofa in the den with Duro, who makes them promise not to do anything gross ("Like we were going to with you right there?" Agron replies), sticks his earbuds in, and rolls onto his side away from them. Agron slides his arms around Nasir, who tucks himself against Agron's chest and then, after a stretch of quiet so long Agron thinks he might be asleep, murmurs, "Have you always been out to your family?"

"Pretty much," Agron says. "My parents always raised me to be who I was and not compromise myself for anyone, so when I started realizing I liked guys, I figured that was included. And once I had them in my corner, I knew I didn't have to worry about what anyone else thought."

Nasir greets that with silence, and Agron strokes his hair. "I know I've been really lucky that way," he says softly. "Are you...?"

Nasir shrugs. "My parents know I've never really had a girlfriend and they know I'm a pretty big supporter of queer rights, so they might not be surprised if I told them? But I just...never have."

Agron tips his head back, searching for Nasir's face in the darkness. "How do you think they'd take it?"

"I don't know," Nasir says, and even with the darkness and how softly they're speaking, Agron can tell how much it bothers him to admit that. "I've never really known them to be be vocally anti-gay, but they're not exactly avid supporters, either. And I just...what scares me is that once I tell them, I can't take it back. No matter how they react, I have to live with it."

Agron kisses the top of his head. "Well, if you ever decide you want to tell them, you know I'm here for you. And if you don't, I'm still here for you."

Nasir snuggles closer against him, tightening his arm around Agron's waist. "Thanks."

The next day, Nasir helps out in the kitchen whenever anyone will let him, worries unnecessarily that he's going to offend Agron's mother by not having some turkey, and reaches out to take Agron's hand when they sit next to each other at dinner.

***

Almost as soon as they get back to school, finals are hanging over them like impending doom. Duro repeatedly swears he's dropping out of school to go work on an alpaca ranch. Mira organizes group study sessions that she runs like a drill sergeant. Gannicus does what he always does when he has looming deadlines: suddenly snaps out of his drunken haze and dashes off papers that are either brilliant or full of bullshit that somehow still manages to sound brilliant, based on his GPA.

"I kind of hate him for being able to do that," Nasir says one night, while he and Agron are just sitting on Agron's bed watching Gannicus shotgun RedBull and type like the wind.

"The worst part is he's still at least half drunk," Agron says. "Fucking philosophy majors, man."

Even when Agron and Nasir manage to spend time together, they're still in finals mode. They lie curled around each other reading and reviewing notes instead of making out. Agron organizes his outline for his term paper out loud while Nasir draws violin strings on his arm in Sharpie and practices his fingerwork.

The last day of the semester, Agron stays up until four in the morning finishing his last paper, goes straight from turning that in to take his last exam, and emerges in the kind of strung-out haze where for the moment, you don't even care how you did, you're just relieved to be finished. He goes back to his room and sleeps for a few hours, but then he drags himself up and showers and makes himself presentable for Nasir's final orchestra recital. Nasir doesn't get any solos--those are pretty much all taken up by juniors or seniors--but Agron watches him the whole time, and when everyone in Nasir's row stands up and bows at the end, Agron, Duro, and the rest of their friends break out in uproarious cheering.

There's a party that night that starts in Agron and Gannicus's room and spirals out until it's pretty much their whole floor. Agron and Nasir hang out for a while, then slip off to Duro and Nasir's room and pretty much just collapse on Nasir's bed together without taking off more than their shoes.

"Ugh," Nasir says. "We get a few weeks off and then we have to do all this again? I think Duro's onto something with the alpaca ranch idea."

"You can't go work on an alpaca ranch, you have to graduate and become a famous violinist so you can keep me in the style to which I plan to become accustomed," Agron tells him.

"I'll think about it," Nasir says, rubbing his face tiredly against the front of Agron's shirt.

Agron wraps his arms around him. "So. Wanna fool around?"

"I think I might be too tired," Nasir mumbles into Agron's chest. "I don't want to fall asleep on you while we're making out twice, it's probably bad luck for the relationship or something."

"Point," Agron concedes. "Promise my ego won't be bruised if you fall asleep on me while we're cuddling, though."

"Way ahead of you," Nasir replies, sounding half-asleep already.

Agron drifts off not long afterward with Nasir still cradled in his arms, and they both sleep like the dead until Duro attacks them with a pillow and reminds them that Nasir has a flight back to Portland in a few hours and Agron's supposed to drive him to the airport.

They're on the way there when Nasir says quietly, apropos of nothing, "So I think I'm going to try and come out to my parents over break." 

Agron looks over at him, keeping one eye on the road. "Seriously?"

Nasir's looking straight aside, out the windshield, and there's a determined set to his jaw. "Yeah. I have to do it sometime, right? Or hide it forever, which is a really depressing thought."

Agron takes one hand off the steering wheel and rests it on Nasir's thigh. "Nasir...you don't just want to do this because of me, do you? Because you don't have to."

"It's not just for you," Nasir says. "I mean, it _would_ be nice to be able to tell them about you. But I want to do it for me, too." He looks over at Agron with a faint smile. "I want to be able to be who I am with them."

Agron says nothing, just turns on his blinker and eases over until he can pull onto the side of the road.

"Why'd you--" Nasir starts.

"Because it'd probably be a bad idea to do this while driving," Agron says as he unbuckles his seatbelt and leans over. Nasir raises his hand to Agron's face and they kiss for a long moment, and Agron leans his forehead against Nasir's when the kiss breaks. "I love you," he murmurs. 

He hears Nasir's breath catch in his throat, and Nasir's hand curls around the back of his neck, keeping him close. "I love you, too," he replies softly.

They kiss for a few more moments, and Agron really doesn't want to stop but he also doesn't want to make Nasir miss his flight. He gets them back on the road and drives with one hand, holding onto Nasir's with the other. 

At the airport, they hold each other tight and kiss until Nasir starts to get nervous about having enough time to get to his gate. Agron finally lets Nasir slip out of his arms, but catches both his hands and hangs on just a little longer.

"Call me anytime," he says. "Anything you need. Seriously." 

"Okay," Nasir says. He squeezes Agron's hands and stretches up to kiss him once more before pulling away. "See you soon."

***

They talk pretty much every day during break--sometimes just texting, but they try to video chat as often as they can.

By halfway through break, Nasir still hasn't told to his parents. 

"I'm going to do it tomorrow," he says while he and Agron are saying goodnight. Agron's lying on his side in bed, and Nasir's the same way.

"You said that yesterday," Agron points out.

"Yes, but this time I mean it," Nasir says, and then buries his face in his pillow. "Blargh."

"You know you don't have to--"

Nasir looks up at him balefully. "Agron, I love you, but so help me if you tell me I don't have to do this _one more time_ \--"

Agron mimes zipping his lips.

Nasir sighs. "Sorry. I just--"

"I know," Agron says. "It's fine. Just call me if you need to, I plan on staying glued to my phone all day."

He's twitchy and restless all day tomorrow, and when Nasir finally calls Agron leaves the dinner table to take it even though that's always been one of the things his mom puts her foot down about.

"Hey," he says. "Did you--"

"I did," Nasir says in a rush. "And it went fine. Everything's fine. I'm shaking a little? But it's fine."

Agron fistpumps even though Nasir can't see him. "Yes!"

"They, uh, they want to meet you," Nasir tells him.

"Ye--wait, what?" Agron asks.

"They're planning to come with me for the weekend when I head back and they want to meet you," Nasir says. "And ideally your parents? If that's okay?"

"Okay," Agron says. "Okay, this is good, right?"

"It's good," Nasir assures him. "The fact that they haven't met you was, like, their major concern during the whole conversation. It's definitely good."

"Okay," Agron says with a smile. "Listen, I should go before my mom comes and tries to confiscate my phone, but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay," Nasir says. "I'm gonna go...run in circles until I feel less jittery or something. I love you."

"Love you," Agron says. He stands there grinning into space like an idiot for a moment after they hang up, then goes back to the dining room to explain himself.

***

In hindsight, Agron thinks, the third cup of coffee was probably a mistake. It's still fifteen minutes before Nasir's flight gets in and Agron's so jittery he's barely holding himself still.

"Are you nervous?" Duro asks. "You look nervous."

Agron draws in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "Oh, I'm just waiting to meet my boyfriend's parents who didn't even know he was gay until two weeks ago, what's there to be nervous about?"

"You'll be fine," Duro says confidently. "Just be your charming self and not your everyday self. You totally have a charming self, I've seen it. Occasionally."

Agron snorts. "Thanks. I think." 

Finally, a bunch of people that should be from the Portland flight start coming out to the concourse, and Agron cranes his neck and scans the crowd until he spots Nasir, walking next to a man who's got his jawline and a woman who's got his nose. Agron grins and waves, and when Nasir spots him and smiles, Agron knows everything's going to be okay.


End file.
